FAO: Mr Claus & The Elves
To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, I adore simple pleasures, they are the last refuge of the complex. Which is exactly why today I find myself in a onesie, making fantasy online shopping lists. I also like to think that this is because it’s nearly Christmas and the lure of being completely self-indulgent and ridiculous in the comfort of your own home is too much to resist. So here are the fruits of my rather lazy labour; an extravagant but not altogether unrealistic Christmas List. Are you reading this, mum? NOT ALTOGETHER UNREALISTIC.
1. Soho diary, £230, Smythson – For my impossibly organised 2013 desk
2. London diary, can be personalised with your name and a handwritten message, £125, Anya Hindmarch – For my impossibly organised 2013 life
3. Grace: A Memoir, £17.60, Amazon – For reading infront of the fire
4. Advanced Style book, £19.70, Amazon – For inspiration on what I want to be like when I grow up
5. Le Labo Bergamote Perfume, £95, Liberty – For smelling better than everyone else
6. Bill Cunningham New York documentary DVD, £11.43, Amazon – For replacing the Queen’s speech with
7. Tim Walker Storyteller photography book, £24.30, Amazon – For extra Christmastime magic
8. Neon letters, £90 each, Not On The High Street – For spelling my own name above my bed, slightly whorishly
9. Chanel glasses, £138.60, Fashion Eyewear – For looking over the top of, imperiously. And also, you know, being able to see
10. Delfina Delletrez single earring, £320, Matches – For general fabulousness. And because lips are the new eyes, oh yeah
11. Veiled cashmere beanie, £95, Bernstock Speirs – For walking that fine line between sack of potatoes and vaguely cool
12. Hanky Panky knickers, £18 each, Selfridges – For undercover colour
13. Marc by Marc Jacobs iPad case, £115, Selfridges – For practical reasons only, you understand
13. iPad mini, from £269, Apple – For a lighter handbag
14. Rivale leather bracelet, £390, Hermes – For the orange box
15. Silk pyjamas, can be monogrammed, £330, Olivia von Halle – For staying in all Christmas Day
16. Quilted backpack, £1273, Moschino – For the 90s moment that’s coming for SS13
17. Vanity case, £595, Agent Provocateur x Globe Trotter – For travelling by private jet
18. Glitter BlackBerry case, $35, Kate Spade New York – For much-needed sparkle
19. Leather skinnies, €814, Iro – For a change from black
20. Enamel lips ring, £990, Solange Azagury-Partridge – For ever and ever
21. Quilted wallet, approx £400, Chanel – For an interim solution to a 2.55
22. Louis Vuitton crystal sunglasses – I can’t find these anywhere – help! – For a more festive hangover
23. Glitter Priscilla heels, £665, Charlotte Olympia – For kicking Dorothy’s ass back to Kansas
24. Naughty or Nice notecards, $50, DL & Co – For the best thankyou notes ever
25. Iro sheepskin biker, £889, Selfridges – For the joy of owning THE GREATEST COAT THAT HAS EVER BEEN
26. Camille Walala Kiss More cushion, £48, Culture Label – For sheer brilliance
27. Deco knuckle ring, £495, Katie Rowland – For my ever-expanding ring collection
28. Bollocks mug, £20, Coco de Mer – For a (very) cheeky cuppa
All for the bargain price of £8662.63. Donations gratefully received.