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christmas gift guide

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FAO: Mr Claus & The Elves

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, I adore simple pleasures, they are the last refuge of the complex. Which is exactly why today I find myself in a onesie, making fantasy online shopping lists. I also like to think that this is because it’s nearly Christmas and the lure of being completely self-indulgent and ridiculous in the comfort of your own home is too much to resist. So here are the fruits of my rather lazy labour; an extravagant but not altogether unrealistic Christmas List. Are you reading this, mum? NOT ALTOGETHER UNREALISTIC.
1. Soho diary, £230, Smythson – For my impossibly organised 2013 desk
2. London diary, can be personalised with your name and a handwritten message, £125, Anya Hindmarch – For my impossibly organised 2013 life
3. Grace: A Memoir, £17.60, Amazon – For reading infront of the fire
4. Advanced Style book, £19.70, Amazon – For inspiration on what I want to be like when I grow up
5. Le Labo Bergamote Perfume, £95, Liberty – For smelling better than everyone else
6. Bill Cunningham New York documentary DVD, £11.43, Amazon – For replacing the Queen’s speech with
7. Tim Walker Storyteller photography book, £24.30, Amazon – For extra Christmastime magic
8. Neon letters, £90 each, Not On The High Street – For spelling my own name above my bed, slightly whorishly
9. Chanel glasses, £138.60, Fashion Eyewear – For looking over the top of, imperiously. And also, you know, being able to see
10. Delfina Delletrez single earring, £320, Matches – For general fabulousness. And because lips are the new eyes, oh yeah
11. Veiled cashmere beanie, £95, Bernstock Speirs  – For walking that fine line between sack of potatoes and vaguely cool
12. Hanky Panky knickers, £18 each, Selfridges – For undercover colour
13. Marc by Marc Jacobs iPad case, £115, Selfridges – For practical reasons only, you understand
13. iPad mini, from £269, Apple – For a lighter handbag
14. Rivale leather bracelet, £390, Hermes – For the orange box
15. Silk pyjamas, can be monogrammed, £330, Olivia von Halle – For staying in all Christmas Day
16. Quilted backpack, £1273, Moschino – For the 90s moment that’s coming for SS13
17. Vanity case, £595, Agent Provocateur x Globe Trotter – For travelling by private jet
18. Glitter BlackBerry case, $35, Kate Spade New York – For much-needed sparkle
19. Leather skinnies, €814, Iro – For a change from black
20. Enamel lips ring, £990, Solange Azagury-Partridge – For ever and ever
21. Quilted wallet, approx £400, Chanel – For an interim solution to a 2.55
22. Louis Vuitton crystal sunglasses – I can’t find these anywhere – help! – For a more festive hangover
23. Glitter Priscilla heels, £665, Charlotte Olympia – For kicking Dorothy’s ass back to Kansas
24. Naughty or Nice notecards, $50, DL & Co – For the best thankyou notes ever
25. Iro sheepskin biker, £889, Selfridges – For the joy of owning THE GREATEST COAT THAT HAS EVER BEEN
26. Camille Walala Kiss More cushion, £48, Culture Label – For sheer brilliance
27. Deco knuckle ring, £495, Katie Rowland – For my ever-expanding ring collection
28. Bollocks mug, £20, Coco de Mer – For a (very) cheeky cuppa
All for the bargain price of £8662.63. Donations gratefully received.

Last Minute Stocking Fillers Under £35

From top left:
Cox, Cookies & Cake Cookery Book – £9, Amazon
Spiked iPhone case – €20, Shampalove
Debbie Harry Paper Doll – £7.50,
Ponyskin purse – £20, Miss Selfridge
Maison Lancome Blusher – £34, Lancome
Prestat Champagne Truffles – £15.50, Liberty of London
Every Cloud Umbrella – £35, Lulu Guinness
Ornamental Self Select Eye Colour – £12, Paul & Joe at BeautyBay
They See Me Rollin’ Art Print – $20, Aled Lewis at In Print
Jewelled False Lashes – £18, Shu Uemura at Selfridges
Horse clutch bag – £30,
Pyramid Stud Friendship Bracelet – £7.50, Miss Selfridge
Fashionista’s London Print – £20.50, Not On The High Street
Sweetheart Satin Lingerie Set – £20 (bra) £18 (briefs), Playful Promises
Personalised Blended Tea – £27, Blends For Friends
Heart-shaped Mirror Compact – $7, Marc Jacobs
Faux-snakeskin Make-up Bag – £17.99, Fiorelli at New Look
Kiehl’s Beauty Cracker – Selfridges

Christmas Gift Guide – For Me Me Me

For: Yours Truly
Likes: toast, making demands, watching the same Girls of The Playboy Mansion episode over and over, Minx mani/ pedis, having a nose through other people’s handbags, pigeon post, baking pies, singing obnoxiously loud, collecting fancy beauty products then only ever using facewipes and water, chopped herring bagels, getting black cabs, tanning, Hello Kitty paraphernalia, mum’s baked cheesecake, wandering aimlessly through Liberty picking things up then putting them down, Paris, finding exactly the right gift, quoting from Jersey Shore (cabs are here), a bloody good list.
From top left:
Taschen’s New York Book – £20.06, Amazon
Isabel Marant wedge trainers – Selfridges
Yes Neon Light – £570, Bianca Hall
Bunny Sunglasses – $300, Karen Walker at Acrimony
In The Spirit Of Capri Book – £30, Liberty
Rose Perfume – £132, Le Labo at Liberty
Zip-detail gloves – £32.50, Kurt Geiger
Go Away Im Writing Mug – £10, Not On The Highstreet
Leather Pouch – Personalised with your own text – £28,
White BlackBerry Bold 9900 – £512.06, Amazon
Rose Gold and Crystal Pave Ring – £190, Eddie Borgo
Platform heels – £159.99, Kandee
Canvas Tote – $40, Maude & Tilda
Leather Notebook – £49, Lulu Guinness