Wednesday, 21 September 2011

The Fashion Week Rules

1. Thou Shalt Wear Sunglasses Even Though It’s Raining

But not inside, whilst watching the show. Thou art not Anna Wintour. Unless thou art, in which case, carry on love.

2. Thou Shalt Engage In Looking Totally Underwhelmed Even When Viewing The Most Magnificent Of Shows

It's not really done to look enthused, much better to stick to a rigid poker face that cracks for nothing. And for God's sake don't smile whilst applauding at the end. Amateur.

3. Thou Shalt Air-Kiss People You Barely Know

Repeat after me: "Darling!" *air-kiss both cheeks, 3 kisses if you're in Milan* "You look amazing! Are you still at *struggle to remember where the hell they work*? We should do drinks!" Repeat next season.

4. Thou Shalt Partake in Reverse Dressing

Borderline inappropriate skirt-to-leg ratio at 9am, give fellow tube passengers an eyeful. Heels double as stilts. Come 5pm, if you're still upright award yourself a medal. Then swiftly change into flats for dinner and after parties.

5. Thou Shalt Not Sleep. At All.

No rest for the wicked. Or the fash pack. It's practically the law. Also: see Rule 1. They're linked.

6. Thou Shalt Not Stare At The Celebrities

By all means ask them what they thought of the show but gawping of any kind is terribly déclassé. You are allowed a token glance and that’s your lot.

7. Thou Shalt Subsist Solely On Champagne, Berocca & Goodie Bag Vitamin Water

And in desperate situations, all three at the same time. Food to be consumed in pretentiously-named canapé form only.

Originally published for Lyst.com

7 comments:

Kate said...

Haha I love this list! xx

Looking Fab in your forties said...

So funny, loved this post. I can't stop myself staring at Celebs and only managed my heels for about half an hour, they started killing in the queue for the passes!

Aria said...

Nooo...I work in the centre of Milan and the FW is my nightmare!The city is FULL of super beautiful tall blonde long-haired, long-legs leather jacket&shorts models!

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Eve Maria said...

very funny. :) I have a theory that there's so much sugar in vitamin water because no-one has time to eat at fashion week so it's to keep us all going without looking like we're eating!

thea natalie said...

Touche, loved this. I was starving and exhausted by day 3 :)

Thea Natalie @ Creatures of Life x

A Girl, A Style said...

Oh, how true this is! Although I'm feeling mighty smug that I managed to break the rules and not only squeezed in dinner at Automat, but a Wahaca burrito (hoovered in the back of the car between shows. I'm all class).

Briony xx

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