I Believe In The Beat

Following on from my previous 80s love-in, I thought it was about time you were formally introduced to the best movie ever made.

There really isn't enough dance-offs against bulldozers in movies. Or, indeed, men in crop-tops going by the name 'Shabba-Doo'.

Brava. Just, brava.

Kids With White Teeth & Giant Shoulder Pads

It's a fantastic yet worrying phenomenon that a spot of good styling can turn an initial reaction from 'Ugh! No effing way' to 'I'll take four, please.'

Case in point: Shoulder Pads.

I've always thought they look daft at best. Fine, there's no denying Dynasty was a sartorial spectacle of nuclear proportions, not to mention I've got as much love for Joan Collins as the next person, but I've never thought to look to her for style inspiration particularly. Well, you just wouldn't, would you?

Until now. I bloody love her now. You go, Joan, you show those shoulders who's boss. You laugh in the face of irreversible and chronic back problems. You champion the lesser-celebrated twinning of hair and shoulder. Everyone knows you're just cooler than they are.

No one knows this better than the designer's designer Margeila, or Marc J at Louis Vuitton, or indeed Monseiur Decarnin at Balmain, who, this season, all decided to leech cool points from Alexis by pushing the super-shoulder.

Photos from Style.com

I predict a major storm on haberdashers in the near future, especially seeing as the high street doesn't seem to have fully picked up on the trend. Maybe because it's still in the 'directional' camp and needs a bit of coaxing out. I'll happily step up for advocating it's wearability in the mainstream. It's shoulder pads a go-go for me - shoulder pads to the dentist, shoulder pads in the car, shoulder pads in the office (yes, I do like to pretend I'm Melanie Griffiths in Working Girl), shoulder pads to the pub...the pad possibilities are endless.

Pad Benefit 1: Tiny waist and legs by comparison

Pad Benefit 2: Delusions of grandeur/false sense of gravitas and power

Pad Benefit 3: Clears a space to the bar

See? Endless.

It's not just the lowly pad that's getting an airing, however. This season and next it's all about conceptual structure, detailing, embellishment and avant-garde, progressive shapes in and around the shoulder area. Tennis ball shoulder may sound like an injury but it looks pretty fierce.

This has suddenly made Halloween plans disasterously complicated...Betty Draper, Lady Gaga or Alexis Carrington?

*Sigh* Why is life so hard?

The Hitlist...

My wonderful cousin A is a BA pilot & can reserve one space on his friends and family list every six months for a very jammy individual. Basically, this means you pay the taxes and 10% of the ticket fare and you can fly anywhere your little heart desires. I am said jammy individual from April 1st (I hope it's not a joke, I won't be laughing). So I've been frenetically compiling my ultimate, yet realistic, destination list since he revealed to me in Cipriani, over bellinis and basil salad, that he's gracing me with this rather jolly benefit.

1. Paris... (note: is it terribly un-green to fly to Paris? Oh well.)

for Laduree macaroons, Collette and visiting my dear friend R who has the most contagiously positive outlook on life.

2. Miami...

for the thrill, the beaches, the pink art deco and neon night life.

3. Tokyo...

for Harajuku, the lights, the culture shock & the tempura.

4. Buenos Aires...

for the vintage market in San Telmo (I know, you'd never guess, but when I was there in 2006 I came back laden with 20s vintage perfume bottles, silk chemises, oodles of gold cocktail jewellery and sunnies that Linda Farrow would be proud of), the steak, and to see my beautiful boy in concert when he's playing in April.

5. Dubai...

for everything that is bad, bad, bad. I miss it.

6. Cyprus...

for the family, the posing & the unexpected glamour.

7. NYC...

I don't need a reason...I've just never been!

8. St Petersburg...

for the architecture, the hats and the colour.

9. Istanbul...

for the chocolate box villas on the Bosphorus, Rami - the silver-service rooftop restaurant with the best Sultan kebab in the world, and the jaw-dropping fakes in the Grand Bazaar.

10. Barcelona...

for the churros on the beach for breakfast, the Sagrada Familia, and the blue sky against the Gaudi colours.

11. Dollywood...

for Dolly - why else?!

12. India...

for the majesty, the Taj Mahal, the music, the beauty and because The Darjeeling Limited was possibly the greatest film of all time.

13. Kuala Lumpur...

for Petaling Street Market, Roti Chani & The Hotel Maya's eggs benedict.

14. Athens...

for a check up with my plastic surgeon, the souvlaki against the stars and the Parthenon and the beautiful people.

15. Mykonos...

for the beach at Ammos, the ekmek kataifi in the village tavernas & the vibe in the square at night.

16. Egypt...

for the Arabian nights/Agrabah fantasy, the incredible history and the bazaars.

17. Havana...

for the salsa in the street, the faded 50s grandeur and for closure after I nearly died in a car crash there.

18. Rio...

for carnival, for Christ the Redeemer & to satisfy myself that not all Brazilian women look like Gisele.

I'd better get packing, then.