I loathe Christmas jumpers. LOATHE. Not even their gross levels of kitschness can rescue them for me (something which usually sees an item ascend rapidly to the top of my wishlist). I hate alpine knits. I hate anything faux apres-ski. I hate the classic Crimbo colour combo of red and green. (I also, incidentally, hate the word Crimbo and typing it twice has made me gag).
There's more. I hate their forced glee. Their unapologetic unsexiness offends me. And they're usually really itchy.
Don't look at me like that, you know it's true. Anyway, it's my one and only grinch-like quality, I embrace the rest of the festive season with the zeal of a hyperactive toddler on Christmas morning. So imagine my joy at having discovered a seasonal knit that I can't wait to get my grubby little hands on.
Thankyou to Macaulay Culkin, John Hughes and Angels With Filthy Souls for making the following words the most heartwarming you can hear this time of year.
Merry Christmas ya filthy animal. And a happy new year.
Buy it here.