Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal

I loathe Christmas jumpers. LOATHE. Not even their gross levels of kitschness can rescue them for me (something which usually sees an item ascend rapidly to the top of my wishlist). I hate alpine knits. I hate anything faux apres-ski. I hate the classic Crimbo colour combo of red and green. (I also, incidentally, hate the word Crimbo and typing it twice has made me gag). 

There's more. I hate their forced glee. Their unapologetic unsexiness offends me. And they're usually really itchy. 

Don't look at me like that, you know it's true. Anyway, it's my one and only grinch-like quality, I embrace the rest of the festive season with the zeal of a hyperactive toddler on Christmas morning. So imagine my joy at having discovered a seasonal knit that I can't wait to get my grubby little hands on. 

Thankyou to Macaulay Culkin, John Hughes and Angels With Filthy Souls for making the following words the most heartwarming you can hear this time of year.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animal. And a happy new year.

Buy it here.

New In: My Kawaii Case

Question: Is this the best thing in the world, ever?

Answer: Yes. Yes it is.

Glad we cleared that one up, then.

To expand; this glorious, candy-covered, hyperglycaemic iPad case is the product of Paula Mixides, the Wonka-esque genius behind My Kawaii Case. (Quick vocab lesson: Kawaii is the Japanese term for their special brand of hyper-kitsch cute).

Paula also creates deco phone cases (cleverly focusing not only on iPhones but also Samsungs) and iPod cases in addition to mini and full-sized iPad ones.

I may marry her.

If You Don't Know, You Better Get To Know: 5 Brands That Should Really Be On Your Radar

1. Three Floor

There's nothing worse than those self-satisfied twats who bang on about how they were the first to discover something. But something horrible inside me wants to tell you that I featured this brand AAAAAGES ago (before all the glossies started picking them up, oh yes). Sorry. Had to say it. Anyway, if you're yet to hear about the magnificent, almost too-good-to-be-true party brand Three Floor, here they are in all their glory, ready to change your life for good.
The attention to detail is mind-boggling, the cuts are just the right amount of cute (mixed heftily with just the right amount of scandalous), and the prices are astoundingly low for all that craftsmanship. Our little secret though, right?

2. Didi Jewellery

I'll hold my hands up and say that I am an absolute sucker for jewellery. My jewellery tree is completely obscured under piles of chains, jewels (not real ones, though. Please don't rob me) and hoops. I almost never meet a cocktail ring I don't like and when it comes to friendship bracelets, my motto is the more the merrier. So the discovery of Didi Jewellery was a wonderful moment - not least because its luxe aesthetic belies its totally reasonable price point. No two pieces are the same due to the rough-cut gems. Their haphazard creation gives them a sense of raw beauty (no try-hard pieces here). And they have a slightly mystical quality which - well, just makes me happy, really.

3. Beach Riot

Is it just me or does there seem to be a massive influx of ultra-cool swimwear brands emerging at the moment? We Are Handsome kicked it off with their photo-print one pieces and now Beach Riot have completely captured my attention with their slightly trashy Nineties vibe, cheeky cuts and fluoro palette. Best worn with vintage denim cut-offs and obnoxious lashings of yellow gold.

4. Eshvi

Perhaps worryingly, when I first saw Eshvi's wares at a press day, I actually said 'hubba hubba'. Mercifully not out loud, but still. Just look at all that glossy metal! And those curved spikes! Gothic Art Deco to die for. Mawi better watch their back, that's all I'm saying.

5. Alexander Lewis

Hallelujah for all those amazing designers tapping into that affordable-yet-luxe market we fashion geeks like to call contemporary. (We also call them bridge brands but no need to get too technical.) Think Sandro, Maje, IRO, Isabel Marant Etoile - basically, designer but without the kind of prices that make you want to weep uncontrollably in the handbag hall at Selfridges. Alexander Lewis is one man doing this very well indeed, with his impeccable tailoring, inspired colour combos and separates that make me go 'weeeeeeeee!'. Hm. Maybe should've kept that to myself, too.

Winter Wishlist

If something heinous happened and I was suddenly left without any clothes (say, if Mars attacked and made off with all my Isabel Marant. Or if I was shrunk, Dennis Quaid/Innerspace-style. What? It could happen.) then I would surely make my way to the grandest of grand department stores to replenish stocks; Harrods. There's also something about this time of year - the weather turns, I'm already inexplicably excited about Christmas - that makes me want to loiter in the warmth of its fairy lights. If not in the food hall or by all the Helmut Lang, then certainly in the shoe department (see above - I'm pretty sure this was a candid snap taken of me whilst making myself at home. Dunno who that other randomer is).

So if I had to start from scratch this season, it wouldn't be too much of a chore to find basically everything I needed hanging on its hallowed rails...

Stella McCartney tartan coat

A far cry from Bay City Rollers, Stella's oversized boxy coat is THE coverup of the season. I'd wear it with leather skinnies and a white poloneck. *stares dreamily into space*

Christopher Kane camouflage skirt

This is possibly the saddest fashion admission I've ever made, but I actually had a dream last week that I owned this skirt and was genuinely upset to wake up and find that my subconscious had played a cruel, cruel trick on me. Why would she do that? The cow. I'm going to buy it anyway, just to spite her.

3.1 Phillip Lim over the knee boots

Give me these, an oversized mohair jumper dress and a gin and tonic and I may very well be the happiest person that ever lived. I bet they're super comfy too - look at that practical heel! Practical is akin to practically free in my book.

Jovani crystal dress

So... bit of a wild card, here. I think this completely represents the difference in my taste from day to night. During the day I live in sweatshirts, leather skinnies, Isabel Marant trainers and biker jackets. At night I decide I'm a showgirl. If the last Vuitton show is anything to go by, MarcJacobs thinks that's perfectly fine.

Missoni striped Lurex bikini

I can't wait to go on holiday next month, if only so I can dabble in Cruise/ Resort for legitimate reasons. No trip is complete without a Missoni two-piece and this is one of the nicest I've seen in ages.

Alexander Wang backpack

Don't get me wrong, I love a handbag as much as the next girl, but there are few that can make me audibly gasp on seeing them for the first time. This little number, however, passed the gasp litmus test with flying colours. It's got enough of a 90s/ Angela Chase vibe to make me slightly nostalgic, but is smartened up with a bit more structure and super-shiny hardware. Look how shiny! It's love.

Alexander Wang goat fur front sweatshirt

Imagine how soft and warm this is. JUST IMAGINE. And it would literally go with everything. Leather pencil skirts, printed minis, sharp cropped trousers... it's truly a fashion feat. 

Armenta Diamond Tapestry ring

I've been obsessed with this brand for a few years now, ever since the PR came in to see me and I spent the whole time trying to figure out if I could lock her and all the jewellery in the fashion cupboard for good. Inspired by Spanish treasures, I always thought their jewellery look like it held magic powers. For all I know, it probably does.

SHY by Sydney Evan Love Script Necklace

I'm becoming a bit of a squishy romantic in my old age. This dainty calligraphy-style necklace has a couple of USPs that I LOVE (*cough*)... One, the little asymmetric diamond. And two, the fact that it's mega long - something a bit different. It also reminds me of the engagement ring of my dreams but that's another story...

Celine Butterfly Sunglasses

Granted, my sunglasses fetish is spiralling out of control but I don't yet own a pair of Celines. (I also don't own a Celine anything but we won't focus too much on that lest I get all Christopher Kane camo skirt again).

Once I'd sated myself buying all of the above I may (may) have a look in menswear to deck The Boy out, too. Probs something like Hugo, or Ralph.

I'd then go straight back to the food hall to faceplant some baklava. Wouldn't you?

Think You Can, Think You Can't. Either Way, You're Right

I was asked to do a few blogs for Stylist's website (you can check them out here should you be so inclined), and since I'm writing to represent the 'career climber' tribe (•cough•), I naturally had a few words to say about my new-found funemployment. Here they are, below...

I’ve never questioned my dedication to my career. It always seemed like the most natural thing in the world to want to have a goal in mind and go after it relentlessly. My parents, despite not particularly being cut from that kind of cloth, were instrumental in that they supported me every step of the way. They even allowed me to live at home for longer than was probably wise while I suffered the unpaid internships deemed necessary to break into the fashion industry. It wasn’t completely out of character, then, when I decided to make the leap from full time at Stylist magazine to fully-fledged freelancer; a career move that I thought of as empowering, if a little reckless. Still, exciting all the same.

The older I’ve got the more I’ve realised the meaning in creating something of your own, and the importance of constantly challenging yourself to progress and grow into who you really want to become. Cheesy, yes, but true nonetheless.

A leap of faith was required, a gamble and a prayer, but there are three mantras that have kept me going when I’ve woken up in cold sweats, plagued with self-doubt and wondering what the hell I was thinking…

1. “Think you can, think you can’t. Either way, you’re right.” Henry Ford said that. I’m ever-so-slightly ashamed to say that the first time I came across it was on Twitter. Regardless, it’s a quote that stuck with me and I love it’s pithy accuracy. It reminds me of the importance of positive thinking and having faith in yourself.

2. “If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.” This little gem was written by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Africa’s first female President. And yes, I discovered this via another extremely high-brow source; Pinterest. To me it means that a little fear is good, it keeps you moving forward.

3. “The harder you work, the luckier you get.” So said golfer Gary Player. I’m inclined to agree. I think that a total belief in fate can be dangerous; if you want something, graft until you get it – don’t wait for it to fall into your lap. That, and be nice. Simple, effective and brilliantly summarised in Anthony Burrill’s poster that now hangs in my makeshift home office. (See below).

I’ll go now before I start quoting ‘with great power comes great responsibility’…

Buy it here.

More inspiring artworks of the wordy variety...

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

And finally (well done to the stoic among you who actually scrolled to the end), this little number. I found it on Pinterest ages ago and have no idea where I can buy it. A drink to the first person who can tell me.

An Analogue Girl In A Digital World

Someone called me that once. Some context: I'd been unsuccessfully asking many, many people for a lighter outside a restaurant (evidently no one smokes anymore. Too 90s), and then tried to order Diet Coke but was told by the waitress that they only sold fresh smoothies. So I stopped playing Snake on my Nokia 5510 and clobbered her round the head with it. Just kidding. But it did get me thinking that perhaps I do veer towards the old school more often than I give myself credit for. Especially when it comes to good ol' fashioned stationery.

I just can't get my head round using my iPad as a calendar, or my phone to create to-do lists which are, more often than not, hideously, unfathomably long. I chop and change appointments at the speed of light as well (ah, the joys of being a freelancer), so I'm forever scribbling, re-scribbling, circling and asterisking - you just can't get that same satisfaction on a phone.

So when this glorious piece of neon pink leather arrived on my desk at Stylist a few months ago, I fell hard and fell quickly. Not only did it have tabs, stickers and zip compartments for everything (EVERYTHING!), it was also the most perfect, painful-to-look-at pink I'd ever seen. We were destined to be together.

It's A5 so more suitable for a desk, really, but regardless I tote it around from office to office and it never fails to elicit some kind of gasping reaction. I will then find them surfing the Filofax website shortly afterwards, wondering aloud whether to get it in pink or orange. I usually make them get the pink, in homage to me for being such a goddamn trend setter. I doubt that they did it in this colour back in the 20s, but it's called The Original. Taking something vintage and making it neon. The best kind of old school if you ask me.

All Change

CLIMB DOWN OFF THAT LEDGE! I'm back! And I plan on being back a lot going forward. Not gone and then back again, back. Just back back. Back for good back. So, yes. You can all rest easy.


Life's changed quite a bit in the past month. I finally moved out. I left Stylist to go freelance. I grew some cojones. I even cleaned a bathroom. (My own, should you care).

I also, whilst in the process of packing up what seemed like a small country, (or at the very least the equivalent of 3-4 Zaras), realised that I have quite the denim addiction. Interesting, since I didn't even like jeans all that much growing up, preferring diabolical Moschino tracksuit-bottoms or badly-fitting, bumster-effect black trousers from Pilot. And not in the good McQueen kind of way. More like the low-slung enough to proudly display a crystallised thong and a strong sense of indecency kind of way. Denim, by comparison, seems like a strangely sensible place to have ended up. But nonetheless, here I am, with no fewer than twenty-two pairs of jeans in my possession, a total convert. More than that; utterly, hopelessly dependent.

The indigo numbers in the above picture are probably the hardest-working ones in my wardrobe. They hail from edgy New York brand Siwy who do the best collection of skinnies - hugging in all the right places and ending at exactly the right place on your ankle, flashing just a little bit. Miles better than flashing a thong, any day. They're getting a bit sad and old, though, and should probably be retired to the big wardrobe in the sky. These ones from K&Co are an amazing alternative I've found, and since I live in my jeans they tick the essential box of being super-comfy to wear all day long. I'm also slightly obsessed with these patchworked babies and will most probably be getting my Liz Hurley on in these white spray-ons as well.

New job, new flat, new life. Same old shopping habit, though. Some things never change.

Forever Young: 5 Things You're Never Too Old For

As my friend Lucy put it, "Out of the way, kids. It's my turn..."

In the spirit of having run around for 6 days wearing sequinned Minnie ears and a village idiot grin, I've decided to celebrate a number of other things that, whatever your age, are equally as exciting and always will be.

1. A Novelty Accessory

Images from Nicolette Mason and Beautygeeek.com

Case in point, Charlotte Olympia's Resort ice cream heels and Sophia Webster's AW13 holographic unicorn bag. Joyous things of glory, both of them.

2. A John Hughes Movie Sleepover

Which, amazingly, is A REAL THING and also the most exciting news since I learned that Channing Tatum will be doing a sequel to Magic Mike. The Prince Charles Cinema in London are showing Hughes' finest back to back on 24th August; Weird Science, 16 Candles, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Uncle Buck, Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Breakfast Club. Bring your sleeping bag and your onesie and I'll see you there!

3. Milkshakes With Stripy Straws

Image thanks to no.2 pencil

I'm not pretending to have the answer to The Milkshake Of Dreams (although I would imagine it's something along the lines of: more cream, more sugar), but I can indeed dab the rim of a receptacle with hundreds and thousands and pop in a pleasingly retro striped straw. The best ones are to be found at Talking Tables, who also do an amazing line in bunting, cake stands and pastel pom poms. 

4. Stuff With Your Name On It

Like Yolke's beautifully monogrammed cushions, which I would love to have piled up on my bed, or Honeytree's personalised notepaper, or Bee's Bakery's bespoke cookies (which they also colour match to any shade you ruddy well like).

5. An Outrageous iPhone cover

I have genuinely never had so many comments on anything that I've been wearing/ carrying/ stood in the near vicinity of in my entire life. This iPhone 5 case from Skinnydip has become a bit of a celebrity - the Cher of phone cases if you will - and so I'm blowing its horn. It's true love.

When You Wish Upon A Star

Ok kids, here's the deal. To celebrate my *cough* late-twenties crisis 21st birthday, and the fact that my current responsibilities are no more pressing than maintaining a job/ boyfriend/ slight wave in my hair, I bid farewell to London for a week and flew to DisneyWorld Orlando with two equally puerile pals. We laughed, we cried, we subsisted solely on brown food. We even wore our matching sequinned Minnie ears to sunbathe. I will say this in our defence, though. One simply never outgrows Disney. You're never too old for a hug from Mickey. And it's quite possibly the only place on earth where you can tell someone to have a magical day and not get slapped round the face for sounding like an utter twat. Sold? Thought so.

New digs.

A bit of shopping involved, obviously. The colours in the Kate Spade New York stores always put a big smile on my face, as evidenced above.

My facial expression remained like this until I conked out at the end of every day on the back seat of our SUV like a massive child.

Finding Nemo. But losing all shreds of dignity.

Always a fan of themed food.

Minnie meets Lolita.

Completely acceptable, yes?

I'm pretty sure I got in about 4 other people's photos and made a couple of children cry to get this shot. Totally worth it though.

Guys, be cool. 

Guys, I said be cool.

Oh sod it.

Guys, I just wanted to say that we're all doing a really good job of being cool. I know it's hard, especially with all the sugar racing round our syst.....OH SWEET LORD IT'S CAPTAIN JACK!!!!!! *kicks small child violently from path*

I challenge anyone not to shed a sneaky tear when the music plays and this is lit up... Click here for inspiration. Celine and Peabo, you little devils.

A dessert party (no, really) on a terrace in Tomorrowland as we overlooked the firework display.

Cue embarrassing blubbing from three grown (ish) women.

We stayed at the Grand Floridian in the park on our last night. This dude won serious points from me for playing the Muppets theme on the grand piano in the lobby. Nice work, pal.

Haven't done so many totally unnatural photographic poses since fashion week.

Just as an aside, my phone case, an accoutrement that would make Liberace weep with joy, has proved quite popular. It's from Skinnydip and you can buy it here.

Getting my Ariel on, Dinglehopper and all.

Loved the Sci-Fi diner, set up in pastel convertible car booths, under a starry night canape as a drive-in movie playing Fifties sci-fi classics. See below...

The iconic Tower of Terror.

The view in Venice, The World at Epcot.

Oh hai Cinders. Or as Lucy put it; "Who's the one in the blue?"

I despair.

Now, singalong anyone?